As we stand on the edge of a new year, I know many of us are still feeling the weight of post-Christmas exhaustion. The busyness, the emotions, and the sheer energy it takes to wrap up a year can leave one feeling stretched thin. Despite being someone who loves setting goals and dreaming about the year ahead, I’ve noticed that as I’ve grown older, it’s become harder to feel genuinely inspired or clear about my vision for the future.Yesterday, I recently listened to a Mel Robbins podcast that inspired me to think differently. What she shared was a gentle reminder that before we rush ahead into planning and goal setting, there’s real value in pausing to reflect on where we are right now.
I loved her analogy of going to visit a new friend. You might have directions, but if you get lost and call for help, her first question will always be: “Where are you right now?” She can’t guide you to your destination without first knowing your starting point.
And there’s such value in doing this before we launch ourselves into a new year—not only because it gives us a clear starting point, but because it allows us to gather the insight, growth, and lessons from the year gone by. When we pause long enough to reflect, we gain clarity about what we want to carry forward with us and what we’re ready to leave behind. This thoughtful pause doesn’t just prepare us for the year ahead—it shapes it.
With this in mind, here are the 7 powerful questions Mel asked which will give you insight into where you are right now.
1. Describe the highlights from the past year of your life.
This is such a fun place to start, and one of the best tools for triggering those memories is your camera roll.
Maybe you’ll notice patterns—certain people who consistently made you laugh or inspired you. How might you make more space for them this year?
Perhaps a particular experience stands out as something worth repeating—or conversely, as a reminder of something best left behind.
You might even notice what’s missing.
✨ A client who did this exercise discovered that she had very few photos with her husband. Reflecting on this, she realised she’s always the designated photographer. But it also sparked the intention to create more shared memories—ones they’ll both be in this year.
Your camera roll is more than a stroll down memory lane—it’s insight.
2. What were some of the hardest parts of this past year?
This question requires deeper thinking. Sitting with the tough stuff isn’t easy, but it’s where so much wisdom lives.
✨ One of my most challenging moments for me this year was being sucked into the pressure of academic achievement for my son. It didn’t align with my values, but the system dictated a different narrative. It led to frustration, tears, and disagreement.
But on reflection, this experience grounded me in my belief in supporting my son as an individual rather than a product of a system. That clarity is something I’m carrying with me into the new year.
What challenge offered you an unexpected lesson?
3. What did you learn about yourself this year?
Take a moment to consider both your highs and lows. Every experience teaches us something about our strengths, our habits, and even our limits.
✨ I am a rescuer with a real instinct to jump in and fix things for others. But in pausing and reflecting, I realised that stepping back creates space for others to grow in their confidence, make their own choices, and even learn from their mistakes.
This awareness has been a game-changer for how I show up in my relationships.
What did you learn about yourself this year?
4. What are you going to stop doing?
Sometimes, growth isn’t about adding more—it’s about letting go.
✨ This one’s simple for me, but it’s also going to be tough: I’m going to stop buying books. I love them, but I read only a fraction of what I buy. My new plan is to finish what I have before bringing more into my collection.
What’s one thing you won’t be carrying into the new year?
5. What are you going to start doing?
This question feels full of possibility.
✨ The wording is a little different for me. It’s not about starting something new—it’s about finishing what I’ve already started. I’m someone who gets excited about new ideas and challenges, but this year, I want to follow through with more of them.
What’s one thing you’ll start doing that feels aligned with your vision?
6. What are you going to continue doing in this next year?
Reflection isn’t just about change—it’s about celebrating what’s already working.
✨ Last year, I made a conscious decision to complain less. Don’t get me wrong—there’s nothing wrong with feeling disgruntled or occasionally venting to a trusted friend. Sometimes, a good emotional release is exactly what we need.
But I noticed that complaining had started to become a habit—one I wasn’t even fully aware of. And the truth is, it wasn’t helping me, and it certainly wasn’t helping the people around me. So, I leaned into awareness instead. I started catching myself in those moments, asking whether airing my frustration would lead to anything meaningful or if it was just perpetuating negativity.
Over time, this small shift became a natural part of how I communicate, and honestly, it feels lighter and I am going to continue with this intention.
What’s something you’ll continue doing because it’s been working well for you?
7. What can you do today?
Big change happens through small, consistent actions. And it can start today.
It doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming. Maybe it’s setting aside just 10 minutes to answer one of these reflective questions. The key is to start. Because even the smallest step holds power—it’s an act of honouring your experiences, your growth, and your intentions for what comes next.
So, what’s one small step you can take today?
✨ A Final Thought ✨
When you take the time to pause and reflect, you’re mapping out a path forward. It’s not about perfection or grand, sweeping plans; it’s about creating a sense of clarity based on the wisdom and insight of the year gone by.
Why don’t you join me and attempt the exercise for yourself
✨ While reflection brings clarity, turning insight into action can sometimes feel like the hardest part. Having someone to support, encourage, and guide you along the way can make all the difference. If this sounds like something you are interested in, you are welcome to contact me for an informal chat. It’s your opportunity to see how coaching could benefit you.
