As a coach, I often emphasise authenticity—not because it’s trendy, but because it’s the foundation of meaningful work, especially when it comes to emotional coaching for parents. It’s not about fixing or performing. It’s about creating space for real reflection, honest connection, and growth—within ourselves and our families.
I don’t believe in holding up a perfectly curated version of life. I believe in showing up honestly and sharing the parts we usually keep tucked away, not for sympathy but so someone else can exhale and say, “Oh, it’s not just me.”
That’s why I want to share this story with you.
It’s not polished or tied up in a bow, but it’s real. And it’s why I believe in coaching — not just as something I offer to others, but as something I live.
A Week on Safari (And a Whole Lot of Inner Work)
Last week, I went on safari with my 25-year-old daughter, just the two of us.
That sentence alone feels miraculous. Five years ago, I couldn’t have imagined it.
We’ve had our share of struggles—deep, complex, mother-daughter tension. While we love each other fiercely, we’ve also had seasons where it felt like we couldn’t reach each other without hitting raw nerves.
There was a time when she contemplated a London university. We live in London. The idea almost killed me. My plan, if necessary, was to send her to Timbuktu. I needed space, not because I didn’t love her, but because I couldn’t breathe in that dynamic anymore.
We travelled the rocky road together. We said hurtful things, huffed and puffed, screamed and shouted, and made up. We forgave, and there were even times when we laughed at some of the things we clashed over.
We got through it, but not without wounds.
Sometimes, even when you’ve healed, those memories quietly linger in the background.
So, when this trip came up, the old fears came knocking.
This Is When I Lean Into Coaching
I felt the swirl of anxiety starting. The “what ifs.”
- What if we fell into old patterns?
- What if the emotional landmines were still buried, waiting to go off?
- What if I tried to control things I couldn’t (again)?
- What if she rolled her eyes at me (again)?
My nervous system was bracing for impact, so I called my peer coach because I knew what was happening in my head could hijack the present and ruin a beautiful week away with my adult child.
My coach didn’t give me answers. She gave me space—the kind of space that emotional coaching for parents is all about: slowing down, tuning in, and seeing what’s really going on beneath the surface.
And somewhere in that session, I let go, not of the past, but of my grip on trying to control what hadn’t happened yet. I softened. I relaxed. I stepped out of old patterns and into a different kind of presence.
It was enough for me to get on that plane without trying to control the outcome. It was enough for me to let this trip be this trip, not a replay of every argument since 2014.
And it was beautiful. We let our hair down. We laughed until our bellies hurt.
We sat in quiet companionship, watching elephants stroll by. We shared deeply. We soaked in the wild, breathtaking stillness of the bush, not just mother and daughter, but two women, two friends, meeting each other in a new way.
Here’s what I want to say — especially to those of you who carry anxiety into essential moments.
The panic I felt in the lead-up to the trip could easily have hijacked the entire experience: the overthinking, the what-ifs, the fear of falling back into old patterns. But it didn’t, and it wasn’t just because of the setting. It wasn’t just because of love. It wasn’t just because I wanted it to go well.
It was because I’d done the work beforehand.
I faced those fears, sat with the discomfort, and made space to respond rather than react. And that made the trip what it was — not perfect, but full of connection, grace and ease.
Why I’m Telling You This
I’m telling you this not to make it sound easy or perfect, but this is exactly what emotional coaching for parents is designed to do—not fix, but create space for understanding, emotional presence, and new ways of relating.
As a coach, I walk the path too. I have to, otherwise my work would be theory.
This story reminds us that coaching is not about fixing people. It’s about creating a space where we can see ourselves, let go of control, and write new stories—in our families, our relationships, and within ourselves.
So, if you’re navigating something tender right now—with a child, a partner, a parent, or even yourself—I hope this reminds you that you’re not alone.
We all have old patterns and doubts, but we can choose differently, one conversation at a time.
And sometimes, that’s how a new story begins.
